The comparison trap can be the one thing that sets you back from not only achieving your goals, but from being the person you truly are meant to be. When we compare, we shift our focus to a life that isn’t ours and therefore neglecting the attention and TLC we need to be giving our own life. I’ve been in the comparison trap many times throughout my life and it’s usually when I’m in the most insecure and scary part of my life. I’m unsure. I’m not clear or focused. I’m unorganized. I’m vulnerable to being influenced by the outside instead of motivated from the inside.
Doing the work to get connected to your soul, your needs, your desires, and what you’re truly meant to do on this earth can be hard. I still have my moments when I find myself staring at someone’s Instagram page and wondering, “Should be doing what they are doing?” It’s OK to be inspired by someone or notice a technique that a person uses to get to their success- but let’s also remember that we are here to create our own story. You will never get to the goal you want to achieve if you are constantly comparing yourself to other stories. Here are some tips and quotes that I keep on hand that have helped me with cutting the ropes of the comparison trap:
“Your life can only be as fulfilling as your interpretation of your experience. Your perception. No matter how great, if you don’t have a healthy relationship to those experiences, then no matter what amazing things happen, you’re not going to feel fulfilled.” –Julianna Raye.
Enjoying the present moment and writing down why.
“When I no longer demanded something completely outside my control, I realized I am still able to live from my intention — no matter what happens. Even when it comes to choosing where I live.” – Jess Lively.
Give yourself some patience.
Give yourself time.
Open your mind to learning and growing.
Remember your values and how that makes you the person you are.
Address your ego’s doubt.
Coming to peace with your own body.
It takes a lot of prayer, work and dedication to honor and love the body you’re in. Dedication to not obsessing.
Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. Create gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have overcome and the good stuff you have done. You feel good about yourself without having to think less of other people.
There is always someone who has it worse than you do.
When you are connected with your own goals and intention- comparison diminishes. Comparison grows when you lose focus on what fulfills you.
Who are you comparing yourself to: When you start to make myths out of people – even though they may have produced extraordinary results – you run the risk of becoming disconnected from them. You can start to feel like you could never achieve similar things that they did because they are so very different. So it’s important to keep in mind that everyone is just a human being no matter who they are.
Instead of comparing yourself to other people create the habit of comparing you to yourself. See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and what progress you have made towards your goals.
Work hard to grow spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Commit to growing and learning something new EVERY day.
Celebrate the little accomplishments each moment of your day. Write them down.
Comparisons are unfair. We tend to compare the worst of us to the best of others.
You are too unique to compare: gifts, talents, and values.
Comparison puts the focus on the wrong person.
Comparison results in resentment.
Comparison deprives us of joy.
We lose focus on our true goals.
We take time from recognizing our own achievements and honoring them.
Become one with your own success.
Pursue the greater and more important things in life- there is no measurement.
Change your surroundings when you feel yourself comparing.
Change what you’re doing to something that will get you to your goal when you start comparing.
Instead of comparing to others, search for people that inspire you.
Get to know someone’s reality beyond social media or television- they are vulnerable and have faults as well. They may be more real than you think and have their own insecurities or imperfections.
And finally, one of my favorite quotes… which is so true…
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”- Theodore Roosevelt
Celebrate YOU. Honor YOU. Connect with YOU. And fall in love with YOU.